My aunt told me how my father got married. He had a girl he was certain he would marry, but only after he had completed his military service. The year was 1923.
He went into the army and stayed somewhat longer than expected because that was the year King Alexander Karađorđević married Queen Marie, the Romanian princess. He also took part in a wedding procession, riding a white horse — not in Belgrade, but in Zagreb, where he was serving his military duty. The procession took place at the same time as the official wedding in Belgrade.
When it was all over and he returned home, he had quite a surprise waiting for him. His girl had married someone else.
He was not only angry but also offended and humiliated, and he protested bitterly. His mother tried to calm him down: “There are other girls,” and immediately began suggesting this one and that one.
But nothing satisfied my father until one of his friends said to him: “Listen to me. Let’s go tonight and get this girl. She is rich and is about to leave for America. Her father is there, and she has a chance to marry there, so she is preparing to go.”
And so they went that very evening.
He did not know the girl. He went to her house. She was there with her sister-in-law and one of her brothers; her older brother was not at home.
They began making arrangements with the sister-in-law, who could hardly wait to marry the girl off and get rid of her, so she began persuading her. This was all the easier because my father had gone to school with this woman and they knew each other from Primišlje, while my mother was from Tržić. The two places are only five or six kilometres apart.
Somehow, with all her skill, the sister-in-law managed to persuade her. My mother took a few clothes, only as much as she could carry, and they set off on foot.
As soon as they left the house, two of his friends jumped out and began celebrating: “We did it! We did it!”
When they reached the bridge over the Mrežnica, she suddenly realised that she was leaving her home, her family, her friends — everything — and was setting off into something completely unknown.
She began to cry and begged them to take her back.
But they said: “No. Now that you have crossed to our side of the Mrežnica, you are already ours.”
And so they arrived, and the celebration continued at home.
When things had calmed down a little, my father sat my mother down and told her the truth.
“Don’t be surprised when you wake up here tomorrow as a bride, because you are going to hear stories, and it is better that I tell you myself. Yesterday I dealt with my former girlfriend before deciding to come and get you. Now I have to go to Slunj. They are calling me to court.”
She asked: “What court?”
And he said: “Give me those gold ducats you brought with you. I have to pay a fine.”
She immediately became sad and gave him as many ducats as she could. The day before he went to get her, he had cut off the braids of his former girlfriend because she had teased him.
The girl had come to her sister’s for a moba1 with a group of other girls. They had begun singing and teasing him, making jokes at his expense.
This made him furious. His loss had been considerable because the girl was wealthy and he had been very interested in marrying her.
He was supposed to move into her household, since she was an only child, while his older brother would remain in their own household with their mother. But all his plans had fallen through.
So now, through deception, he had taken a girl he did not know, and from that day on she was expected to become his wife and adapt to a situation she could never have imagined.
At his mother’s urging, he went to Slunj. He reported himself at the gendarmerie station and went to court. The girl came as well, together with her brother.
The judge said: “Since this is how things stand” — neither side had been entirely honest about the whole affair — “the best thing is for you to come to some agreement and compensate for the damage.”
My generous father, of course, with the ducats my mother had received from America, was ready to pay immediately. He gave them as much as they demanded and returned home as a bridegroom.
He had settled what was required of him and came home victorious. That was how their life together began.
They lived together for many years, until 1966.
My mother felt cheated all her life.