9. ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL

Then we all started going to school. I was supposed to be some kind of authority to my younger brothers and sisters, so I treated them carefully and looked after them.

My younger sister Jela was just starting first grade, and I was in second. Every day Mother would remind me:

“Help her get ready for school. Make sure she is dressed nicely and cleanly, and that her face and hands are washed.”

So I would make her look all pretty. Of course, girls wore headscarves back then. I would wrap her scarf carefully around her head and tie it neatly until she looked beautiful to me.

As for myself, I would get ready in a hurry, and off to school we would go.

I took my little sister by the hand.

As we passed the first neighbours’ houses, two women saw us and said:

“Good day!”

And we both answered:

“Good day to you!”

Then the two women started laughing.

I wondered what was so funny.

Then one of them said to the other:

“Just look at Draga’s girls — God bestowed all his blessings on the younger one, and took everything away from the older child!”

I let go of my sister’s hand.

I refused to hold her hand any longer. If God had given her so many blessings, then she should be able to walk on her own!

I was on the verge of tears, all angry.

And why was that?

Because I was built so differently from my little sister. She was rounder than I was, smaller, with a fair, clear complexion and fine blue eyes.

And I was thin and tall, like a willow, dark and sort of dried out. And really, I was uglier — I mean, not uglier, but really ugly compared with my sister.

When we came back home, I told them everything and I was very sad.

The next day my mother said to me:

“Let it go. Women are like that. They just like to talk.”

“Oh no, not me. I’ll take the other road to school.”

And from that day on, I took the longer road to school, the one behind all the houses.

That was the official village road, the one used by carts. Pedestrians usually took the other path, the one passing in front of the houses.

I kept to that routine until winter came and heavy snow often blocked the road.

Only then did I accept my sister again. Only then did I dare to walk beside her, even though I was not pretty.